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Put into layman's terms, it's the difficulty in feeling sexual attraction to someone you're not friends with first.

When dating in a big city or online, the primary way to meet people is through apps, followed by meeting up in person.

And while you can generally tell on a first date whether or not you'd want to be friends with someone, it's nearly impossible for a demisexual person to decide whether or not you'd be sexually attracted to them without the element of friendship and trust already in place — despite the fact that this seems to be the expectation of modern dating.

The current climate demands that at the end of a date, you know right then whether you're in or out. And you can't exactly explain your feelings to someone you just met, particularly in an age when not engaging in romantic or affectionate activity on dates is considered a rejection.

It can be hard to explain to someone who doesn't feel this way, because demisexuality is actually quite subtle if you're not aware of it.

If you're still unsure whether or not this applies to you, then see if you relate to some of the other hallmarks of being demisexual.

There is an element of complete trust and security that attracts you to them. It's not just the feeling of safety, or the sense of being able to predict what they'll do or how they'll react.

It's bone-deep, an attraction for who they are as a whole, that makes you see them in an entirely different light than you did when you first met.

There is no honeymoon phase in relationships for you, because what other people typically refer to as a "honeymoon" phase is more of your "uncertainty" phase.

As Indigo Stray Conger, LMFT, CST , a certified sex therapist, tells Bustle, "Demisexuals typically develop relationships over weeks or months before seeing a person as attractive and associating that person with arousal cues.

You're much more comfortable and attracted to someone long after you know all the little details about their lives , how they feel about things, and what makes them tick.

While the rest of the world seems to be moaning about how commitment-phobic our generation is, you feel an entirely different kind of pressure, because you know that when it comes down to it, people expect you to have a genuine gauge for how you will proceed with them after a first date.

So you focus too much on everything. In some cases, this is based purely on physical attraction and comes from simply seeing the person.

In contrast, a demisexual will only feel sexual attraction toward a person once they have had the chance to develop a strong emotional bond with them.

If they feel a sexual attraction toward a person, they may choose to engage in sexual activity with them, but the urge is often weaker.

In some cases, it may never develop, despite the emotional connection. In other words, an emotional bond does not guarantee that the person will have any sexual desire, but it is necessary for them even to consider sexual activity.

The emotional bond that a demisexual person feels does not necessarily need to be romantically inclined. The bond could be due to a close and otherwise platonic relationship with another person.

The time that it takes for this emotional bond to develop can vary greatly from person to person. For some demisexual people, certain situations — such as sharing a short-lived experience with someone — can trigger a quick onset of a bond.

For others, the bond can take years to develop. Either way, a bond does not guarantee that the person will feel sexual attraction, and, even if they do, it does not necessarily mean that they will act on it.

Several other sexual identities share similarities with demisexuality, but there are some key differences. A person who identifies as asexual feels no sexual connection with any other people and has no desire to have sex.

The asexual spectrum, according to the Demisexual Resource Center , has asexuality at one end and nonasexuality at the other. Demisexuality falls somewhere in the middle of this spectrum because a demisexual person will feel very little sexual attraction toward others.

However, the key difference is that demisexual people can feel sexual attraction and a desire to have sex once they have developed an emotional bond with another person.

You can read more about asexuality here. Gray-a or gray asexuality, like demisexuality, is on the asexual spectrum.

Unlike demisexuality, though, a person who identifies as gray-a experiences infrequent or less intense sexual attraction or desire to engage in sexual activities.

According to GLAAD , an organization that work to promote transgender acceptance and rights, a person who is gray-a may feel sexual attraction due to any number of different circumstances.

While gray-asexual and demisexual people both experience sexual attraction infrequently, the key difference here is that gray-asexual people do not necessarily require an emotional bond to feel sexual attraction.

Gray-a is a very inclusive sexual orientation, meaning that there are a lot of ways in which a person could identify themselves as gray-a.

According to the Demisexual Resource Center , a person can define gray-a however they choose. Demisexuality is also similar to sapiosexuality in some ways.

The main similarity is that a person who identifies as sapio has a limited number of people to whom they may be attracted, as does a demisexual person.

The major difference, however, is that a person who identifies as sapiosexual is attracted to intelligence or the mind of the other person.

Here, the emotional bond is not the crucial factor. Demisexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by only experiencing sexual attraction after making a strong emotional connection with a specific person.

In the thread, sonofzeal describes his experience of not experiencing sexual attraction without first forming an emotional connection.

Demisexual: sexual attraction is not formed unless a strong emotional bond is formed first. Support people under the ace umbrella.

Asexuality is valid! Demisexuality makes frequent appearances online. People use the term demisexual as a useful tool to describe their identity and how it might differ from other identities.

A demisexual person might also use additional labels in conjunction with demisexual to further describe their identity, since this one label might not tell the whole story.

For example, some people might use a label like panromantic romantically attracted to people regardless of their gender , and so the entire identity might be called something like panromantic demisexual.

This naming scheme is incredibly common. So yes, I am a Biromatic Demisexual and proud! For other people, that might mean identifying as something like demisexual and heterosexual , since the label heterosexual describes romantic and sexual inclinations.

It is up to the individual to describe which labeling scheme works for them.

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In other words, an emotional bond does not guarantee that the person will have any sexual desire, but it is necessary for them even to consider sexual activity.

The emotional bond that a demisexual person feels does not necessarily need to be romantically inclined. The bond could be due to a close and otherwise platonic relationship with another person.

The time that it takes for this emotional bond to develop can vary greatly from person to person.

For some demisexual people, certain situations — such as sharing a short-lived experience with someone — can trigger a quick onset of a bond.

For others, the bond can take years to develop. Either way, a bond does not guarantee that the person will feel sexual attraction, and, even if they do, it does not necessarily mean that they will act on it.

Several other sexual identities share similarities with demisexuality, but there are some key differences. A person who identifies as asexual feels no sexual connection with any other people and has no desire to have sex.

The asexual spectrum, according to the Demisexual Resource Center , has asexuality at one end and nonasexuality at the other.

Demisexuality falls somewhere in the middle of this spectrum because a demisexual person will feel very little sexual attraction toward others.

However, the key difference is that demisexual people can feel sexual attraction and a desire to have sex once they have developed an emotional bond with another person.

You can read more about asexuality here. Gray-a or gray asexuality, like demisexuality, is on the asexual spectrum. Unlike demisexuality, though, a person who identifies as gray-a experiences infrequent or less intense sexual attraction or desire to engage in sexual activities.

According to GLAAD , an organization that work to promote transgender acceptance and rights, a person who is gray-a may feel sexual attraction due to any number of different circumstances.

While gray-asexual and demisexual people both experience sexual attraction infrequently, the key difference here is that gray-asexual people do not necessarily require an emotional bond to feel sexual attraction.

Gray-a is a very inclusive sexual orientation, meaning that there are a lot of ways in which a person could identify themselves as gray-a.

According to the Demisexual Resource Center , a person can define gray-a however they choose. Demisexuality is also similar to sapiosexuality in some ways.

The main similarity is that a person who identifies as sapio has a limited number of people to whom they may be attracted, as does a demisexual person.

The major difference, however, is that a person who identifies as sapiosexual is attracted to intelligence or the mind of the other person. Here, the emotional bond is not the crucial factor.

The authors of a recent study that investigated whether IQ specifically was the most attractive trait for sapiosexuals concluded that it was not the most important factor.

According to the findings of this study, subjective intelligence seemed to be more important than objective intelligence, which is what an IQ test measures.

A person who identifies as pansexual can be sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, or sexual identity.

The level of attraction that they feel toward people of different gender identities may vary. In other words, a person who identifies as pansexual may be more physically interested in females but still find that they are sexually attracted to some males, as well.

Putting a label on a certain sexual identity can help people feel included and realize that they are not alone. By choosing the label of demisexual, a person can join a larger community of people who also identify as demisexual.

Doing this may help them feel supported, support others, and find acceptance. A person who identifies as demisexual may feel sexual attraction to a person with whom they are close, but they may not have a high sex drive or desire to engage in sexual activities with the person.

Just like other people, those who identify as demisexual can have different levels of sex drive, but generally, demisexual people do have the capacity to desire sex.

Most people can feel sexually attracted to a few different people at any given time, regardless of an emotional connection or degree of familiarity.

Though some people may choose only to have sex in an established relationship, others may desire to have sex with someone they just met.

Both approaches toward sex are completely normal. A person who identifies as demisexual will only develop sexual feelings toward a person if they have a close emotional bond with them.

This sexual attraction does not necessarily mean that the person wants to engage in sexual activities with the other person.

Demisexuality is part of the asexual spectrum, which means that a person who identifies as demisexual is likely to have a lower-than-average sex drive.

However, while asexual people completely refrain from sexual activities, a demisexual person may engage in sexual relations once an emotional bond or connection has formed.

It is common for a person's libido to fluctuate throughout their life and according to their mood. Somewhere in between sexual and asexual , it's when you only feel sexual attraction to someone after having a close emotional bond to them.

Person 1: No, I just only feel sexual attraction to someone once I got to know them. Person 2: Well duh! Isn't that everyone?

Person 1: You remember that random girl we saw yesterday? Person 2: Yeah lol what does that have to do with anything? Person 1: Would you say you wanted to have sex with her?

Person 2: Yeah lol she was hot. Person 1: Yeah, that never happens to me. I could never feel sexual attraction to a stranger.

A demisexual is a type of sexual identity where people do not feel or experience any type of sexual attraction toward their partner unless they form a certain strong emotional connection.

This terminology comes from a sexual orientation that is in between sexual and asexual orientations. However, it does not mean that a demisexual has an incomplete or half sexuality.

It simply means that without the emotional intimacy , there is no sexual attraction formed. Moreover, the level of intimacy varies from one person to another.

It also does not mean that there is no sexuality without the emotional intimacy. He says he has to have an emotional connection. Person 1: oh cool.

Person 2: sure lmao. Demisexuals are characterized by a lack of sexual attraction toward any person unless they become deeply emotionally or romantically connected with a specific person or persons.

The level of connection it takes for sexual desire to form is dependent on how close the relationship is rather than initial attraction.

It is an orientation that is not chosen. Demisexuality does not refer to the active restraint or repression of sexual desires or actions.

Demi- is a prefix meaning half. This is used to mean halfway between sexual and asexual. Sexual partner: Hey, I think you are sexy.

Well, we can do something enjoyable together. Sexual partner: Sure! That's always fun, although we seem to be doing that a lot.

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