New thing to search on porn sites

New Thing To Search On Porn Sites

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New thing to search on porn sites

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New Thing To Search On Porn Sites Video

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Same lineup of images. Let's look down at the end of the second row Otherwise the geeks dominate this page with Lord of the Rings results taking up several spots, and Lord Kelvin near the top.

This not only isn't porn, we're firmly in realm of the virgins. Seems like we're out of the disturbing porn woods, guys! Lord and Lady Kelvin don't seem phased by this.

Though, up close, the Lord's eyes appear to be closed. Five nuns, ten ass cheeks and one trip straight to hell. While we knew Catholic schools played a large role in the fantasies of males of all ages, it usually involved plaid schoolgirl outfits, not nuns.

If you were actually searching for a picture of the stern, year old nun we used to censor these images, you'll need to find another search term, because this safe search returns nothing of the kind.

It's not just one pic, either. We also have two nuns in a field enjoying each other's God given body, and another of a nun painting a naked dude perhaps just moments before naked cowgirl blowjob action ensues.

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Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Pornhub, the biggest porn site on the internet, streams GB of porn per second each and every day.

They also keep detailed records of searches in order to draw powerful conclusions about our day-to-day wank trends. Among other things, they've found According to Pornhub stats, when the game Fortnite had a server outage on April 11th, , Pornhub searches for " Fortnite" increased 60 percent across the site.

If people couldn't play the game, they were damn sure going to play with themselves to the game. And that was just that one day -- Fortnite searches over the year saw an uptick of percent.

Pornhub "Oh god, Cracked readers are watching us! So does that mean someone is out there right now cranking out Fortnite porn?

Well, sort of. If you were inclined to search for this stuff -- for work purposes like I did, of course -- you'd find that there are some remarkably repetitive animated clips of Fortnite characters engaging in various coital acts, like soulless fellatio and hauntingly too-rhythmic cowgirl.

However, there are also videos of real-life dudes playing real-life Fortnite while real-life women perform sex acts on them that have been uploaded to Pornhub, so you can get the one-two punch of vicarious gaming and blowies.

Pornhub This is a thing that happened. Of course, Fortnite isn't the only game in wankery. In , Overwatch was Pornhub's 13th most-searched term.

When Overwatch added the new character Brigitte in , searches for that name increased on Pornhub by 6, percent. That was over two million searches across ten days.

Porn hasn't seen a revolution like that since the invention of the pizza delivery guy. Overwatch provides similar search results to Fortnite , and considering how popular hentai is as a search -- it was the 2 term for all of -- you have a decent idea of what these gamer fans were looking for they wanted to see D.

Va taking the D to her Va. It's fun to mock movie porn parodies, but they've always come with the lingering question "Do people just buy these as wacky bachelor party gifts?

Or is somebody jerking off to this? If so, is their real fetish the horrible puns and improvised sketch comedy that occurs in between fuck scenes?

Pornhub searches for "ghost" increased percent within two days of the release of Ghostbusters. So yes, there are people who watch a totally nonsexual movie and immediately want to go to town on their meat with any porno that kind of looks like it.

Pornhub Who ya gonna call? All your friends to brag. Hey, remember when hillbilly reality TV was a big thing? Redneck porn searches increased threefold around that time.

Television producers recognized that the people wanted Southern accents on their screens. Porn producers realized this too, and just added dick to it.

Pornhub Wait, I think I accidentally used a screengrab from the actual show. We've all likely heard of Rule If you can think of a thing, there's a porn version of it.

But that comes at this issue from the wrong end. Yes, someone made it, but someone made it because you were searching for it.

Like Star Wars. You know there's Star Wars porn without looking for it. It's one of the biggest entertainment properties on Earth, and has been for decades.

They defile these characters because the invisible hand of the market demands it! And that hand is masturbating. Pornhub How many of you went to search for this?

You may or may not be surprised to hear that there's plenty of holiday-themed porn out in the world. Maybe we're just confused on what punishment fantasies we're working through.

Weirdly, "caught" was among the most popular terms in Florida, which, good old Florida, boasted some of the most bizarre of the bizarre searches this year, including "shit; shit on a dick; vampire; burglar; and caught.

The only state home to an equally weird smorgasbord of porn habits was Texas, where pants-less sessions included searches for "hot dog; mom and son; alien; piss; and joystick.

But, despite all the disparity, there are still two things that bring us together: our allegiance to Internet porn, and the singular hope no one ever sees our browser history.

United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. The Real Chadwick Boseman. Getty Images. Related Story.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses.

But the idea that people want to specifically masturbate to holiday-themed porn on that holiday is a phenomenon that science will surely never understand.

Sure, you may get horny on Christmas, but do you get horny about Christmas? Yet when St. Patty's Day comes around, searches for leprechaun porn explode.

And however much that you're guessing it increases by, you're wrong, because no rational human would ever guess this number.

It was nearly 10, percent in , and just under 9, percent in Every year, like clockwork, people want to drink green beer and masturbate to leprechauns.

And considering there are only 25 leprechaun videos on Pornhub, they get a lot of mileage on that one day.

Pornhub "They're always after me Fucky Charms! If leprechaun porn isn't weird enough for you, let's skip ahead on the calendar to Mother's Day.

The previous sentence was meant to give you a moment to wince. If you read that so the words rhyme, it sounds more clever. Pornhub "I'mma hump this pumpkin.

Santa searches go up percent on Christmas So, knowing what we now know, it seems certain that big news events also make people want to see a gang bang version of said events, preferably on the same day.

When Meghan Markle got engaged to Prince Harry, searches for her name on Pornhub went up 2, percent.

Does Meghan Markle appear in any porn? No, of course not. Still, the market provides. The 1 result now for her name is a video called "Leaked. On Oscar night, searches for "Oscars" on Pornhub go up 1, percent , and I hope all of those people were hoping to find a video of a past Oscar winner jamming that little gold statue up their own ass.

I'd watch that no matter who the winner was. Incidentally, when you do search for that, the second result is Leonardo DiCaprio getting his Oscar.

Not a porn version of it, just the actual clip from the awards ceremony. That's weirder than porn to me, but whatever.

Other porn searches on Oscar night include "The Shape of Water," which was up percent, and "Kumail Nanjiani" which was up 94 percent. Atta boy, Kumail.

Also, there is a video of two mostly nude women figure skating outside in the middle of winter, proving that adult video stars work the hardest for their art.

Pornhub Frolicking! This will follow broad cultural trends, too. For example, if you live in a place where marijuana has been legalized, you're way more likely to look up videos of girls smoking pot while having sex.

You'd think legalization would make it less sexy, but the data doesn't lie. Of all the porn searches in all the world, none are at once as absolutely obvious and abhorrently wrong as Trump searches.

It makes sense that Stormy Daniels is the most searched topic on porn site xHamster in -- she's a porn star in the news.

But the world of the Trump Hump is vast, and includes so much more than just Stormy. Gird yourself, we're going in. Pornhub Oh. Oh no. Aside from Stormy, those in Trump's circle see a meteoric rise when they start trending.

When news broke that Trump Jr. There's one video of her that's actually just a montage of photos, most of which are less pornographic than the camera gallery on my phone.

Things get weirder when you move closer to the core of the Trump zone. After BuzzFeed published the Steele Dossier, the world became enamored with one particular claim -- the pee tape.

Great effort out there, team. The U. American women made up 27 percent of Pornhub traffic, which was below the worldwide average of 29 percent.

In general, women's favorite search term in was "lesbian," and men's was "japanese. As far as other porn searches that defined , Pornhub said "romantic," "trans," and "tattoos" —"tattooed women" in particular—were all significant terms.

Unfortunately, so was "Bowsette," the viral Nintendo gender-bending version Bowser with a sexy choker. Last year's defining terms included "porn for women," which we took as a huge win, as well as "Rick and Morty" and "fidget spinner.

Stormy and Kim Kardashian were the most popular celebrities. As she was last year, Harley Quinn was the most-searched movie character, followed by Elastigirl of the Incredibles movies.

So go ahead and expand your knowledge with this one! Need a little something more entertaining than StumbleUpon?

The Useless Web is a website that's somewhat similar, except that its only goal is to show you the most pointless websites that exist on the internet.

Just click the big pink button to discover one, and it will automatically open in a new tab. You can even submit one of your own using the link at the bottom if you want.

Do you like animated GIFs? You know, those images without sound that move for a few seconds and then start all over again?

Giphy is the Internet's search engine for GIFs. Even if you have nothing to search for, you can just look at what's trending on the front page or spend some time browsing through the categories.

Created by Matthew Inman a. His wacky drawings are mainly based on relatable life situations, education, and crazy stories that would never be possible in real life.

Surely you've heard of BuzzFeed by now. It's only one of the most popular sites online for everything that's viral, newsworthy and even pointless.

You can find everything from fun quizzes and listicles made of GIFs, to breaking news and long-form journalism. If you need some major distraction, BuzzFeed is the place to go.

If webcomics are your thing, then you have to be familiar with Cyanide and Happiness—one of the most popular and funniest webcomics out there.

There's a new webcomic every day, but you can also head on over to the website and press the question mark button over and over again to view random comics.

Keep in mind there's a lot of adult content. Reddit is referred to as "the front page of the internet.

Users submit links to articles, photos or videos they think are worth sharing, and anyone can upvote them or downvote them.

The most upvoted links get pushed to the top. If StumbleUpon isn't your thing, Reddit may be a good alternative. It's a community-driven hub for visual content where members of the community upvote and downvote posts so that the best content gets pushed to the top.

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